DPP and Justice Minister Play “Pin The Tail On The Donkey’

Director of Public Prosecution Victoria Charles Clarke and Justice Minister Victor Philip La Corbiniere played a game of pin the tail on the donkey earlier this week. The game originated after Housing Minister Stanley Felix lambasted the DPP on a SLP platform on her dereliction of duties over the Town and Village Reports.

Madame DPP fired back , about the IMPACS report calling it ‘hearsay and not meeting the standard of the Evidence Act.’ She further went on to say that her office lacked a Deputy and was understaffed. Thereby winning the game of pinning the tail on the donkey? Not so fast.

In a pre – recorded interview the Justice Minister fired back at the DPP, pinning the tail even more ferociously than she had claiming that she’d rejected the offer of a special prosecutor to assist her. No clarification on whether the state’s generosity was in reference to the IMPACS and Town and Village Council affairs.

Experts were unable to say whether or not the special prosecutor was magic as they had been offered instead of the close to 6 lawyers plus a Deputy DPP that had been requested. Or whether the prisoners on remand would be facilitated with a Special Prosecutor of their own.

Hit us up and tell us who pinned the tail on the donkey the best,the DPP or Minister La Corbiniere.

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Week Of Rain Forecasted, Climate Change Deemed Over

Climate Change is over and all the worry and gnashing of teeth was for nought, so say local climate skeptics led by the activist group Lapli Ka Tombe ( Rain Will Fall). Their leader Reiney Days has pooh poohed the idea of climate change and chastened the Prime Minister for addressing the Climate Change Conference.

” The PM is a smart man so how he believing them conspiracy about a climate change uh? Today it rain, tomorrow full of sun so how the hell the climate change? Next he will tell us the hurricane season cancel because hurricane will happen anytime? He should go read his bible and know all that impossible . Choops tan , tell him focus on more pressing issues like what kind of salted ham there’ll be on the Super J shelves.”

Days also pointed to weather forecasts that suggested that an entire week of rain was imminent .

‘ See rain the whole week so what climate change was happening done finish already!’

Ides Of March : November 15th, Will Caeser Scream ‘Et Tu Brutus?”

The wards at Victoria Hospital are expected to  be filled, come Sunday , after the UWP Convention at the Gros Islet Secondary School. The expected cause? Knife wounds from all the alleged backstabbing from before and during the convention.

Leaders from both camps, the reformist Chastanet and Molotov cocktail thrower Flood – Beaubrun are under heavy guard n an effort to prevent them from being backstabbed by delegates or expected turncoat associates.

We reached out to our media observers for a comment on the expected bloodbath at GIS.

” More backstabbing than a wrestling match.”

” Seems ominous, like the ides of march’

” Caesar may scream et tu Brutus after his house of cards fall down.’

All in all it seems everyone expects the circus , cirque du soleil and Hitchcockian drama at the convention.

Chelsea FC To Face Blackheart Champs Micoud In Clash of Titans

Relegation threatened and soon to be Championship heavyweights Chelsea FC have finally deigned to battle an opponent of their own stature.  Jose Mourinho’s team is expected to fly to Saint Lucia to play a two out of three tournament against the vaunted and feared Blackheart champs Micoud.

The battles set for the BCG are expected to take place November 23, 25 and 27 with Chelsea boss Mourinho eager to take on adequate opposition.

‘ We were tired of the unfair treatment of the English FA! They kept scheduling us against sides we had no business playing like Stoke, Crystal Palace and Liverpool. We needed to play Charlton, Nottingham Forest and Salford City.Teams at our real levels. Thank Mourinho they no longer have to be so demoralized.’

The Micoud team was almost speechless at the news.

‘ OMG Chelsea!!!!!!!!!!! Blackheart v EPL #Blackheart’