Masturbation Expected To Replace Soccer As World’s Most Popular Sport

The WSC ( World Sporting Council) has revealed the shocker that soccer  will no longer be the world’s most popular sport by 2020. Its successor? No not cricket, though that sport is expected to slot in at number two due to the fanaticism of over 1 billion Indian fans.

Recreational Masturbation, with a  following of 3.7 billion players, an upsurge of 27%, is expected to be the biggest sport at the 2020 Olympics with close to 100 athletes from around the globe participating in what is expected to be the most watched event, replacing the 100m dash, the ‘Tug and Jerk’.

World #1 masturbator Brent Celek says he is eager to defend his Australian and World Records at the Olympics.

‘ No one not even Yank It So, (the Chinese silver medalist from Worlds) is good enough to beat me!’

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