David Cameron, the moneyed leader of the Conservative Party and current Prime Minister of Great Britain has come out swinging after scurrilous accusations were made in the British press.
” I am no pig fucker”
Those were the stunning words that opened Cameron’s Downing Street press conference after he denied Lord Ashcroft’s claim that he had fucked a dead pig during a secret society initiation whilst at Cambridge.
” I would never be so distasteful as to fuck a pig, I eat bacon , but in the non biblical sense. To believe such buffoonery is an assault on human intelligence. I did not have sexual relations with that pig.”
Cameron went on to say the most Piers Gav Society members did was fight for inter- species rights by dating pigs not fucking them.
We must admit that a pig dater sounds way better than a pig fucker. No word yet on what breed or sex of pig Cameron was ‘intimate ‘ with.