David Cameron Denies F**king Pig, Claims He Only Dated It

David Cameron, the moneyed leader of the Conservative Party and current Prime Minister of Great Britain has come out swinging after scurrilous accusations were made in the British press.

” I am no pig fucker”

Those were the stunning words that opened Cameron’s Downing Street press conference after he denied Lord Ashcroft’s claim that he had fucked a dead pig during a secret society initiation whilst at Cambridge.

” I would never be so distasteful as to fuck a pig, I eat bacon , but in the non biblical sense. To believe such buffoonery is an assault on human intelligence. I did not have sexual relations with that pig.”

Cameron went on to say the most Piers Gav Society members did was fight for inter- species rights by dating pigs not fucking them.

We must admit that a pig dater sounds way better than a pig fucker. No word yet on what breed or sex of pig Cameron was ‘intimate ‘ with.

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